My blog

War and children

War affects children. Each child in a different way: through the television screen, through the fear in adults’ eyes, through combat actions, through fleeing and the deaths of people, through violence, looting, hunger, and destruction. Research shows that a child’s ability to cope with the stress of war heavily depends on their mother’s ability to War and children

Read More

Expectations

Expectations are a strange thing. I never expected that I would nostalgically hold a seashell to my ear this summer… On one hand, we need expectations to create certainty and predictability. When we expect something, our brain thinks we have a goal and a plan, and all that’s left is to reach those goals and Expectations

Read More

Love

Love is an emotion. It is very vulnerable. Imagine your love for a child or a partner as a separate entity living within your relationship. For it to thrive, it needs constant care. Sometimes I start to think that there aren’t different emotions, but only one. And this one emotional entity has many facets: joy, Love

Read More

Autism

Do you think it’s possible to discover your autism at thirty? Yes, it is. Quite often, adults find out about their autism only in their 30s or 40s. For many, this discovery is a relief. Why? Because they find their place, their identity, and a rational explanation for why they have struggled so much. The Autism

Read More

Abuse

You brought this on yourself! What would you do without your mom? Where do your hands even come from? Stop whining! Apologize. When will you grow up?! Such phrases can be heard in many families in Russia, in school classrooms, kindergarten groups, during sports practices, at doctor’s appointments, on playgrounds, and in grocery store lines… Abuse

Read More

Tantrums

№1 Well, here we go. There he stands, all red, tears flowing like a fountain, and most importantly – that sound. That heart-wrenching scream. “This scream is not a cry for help; with this scream, he will drill his way to a small part of my brain – the amygdala. And I will explode too.” Tantrums

Read More

How to Not Lose It?

The race for children’s success wears us out. I’ll be honest: the theses about how important it is to develop children from birth give me chills, not only as a therapist but also as a mom. We mothers are burdened with too much. No, you won’t miss the train of “Make as many neural connections How to Not Lose It?

Read More

Humanisation

When a child says, “Oh, the bear has a boo boo!”, they are humanizing the toy. How wonderful it is that children love to anthropomorphize! And how sad it is that many begin to lose this ability as they grow up. Some even lose it completely. Humanization is a phenomenon that allows us to recognize Humanisation

Read More

Slowing down

Yuval Harari believes that our suffering is rooted in our disconnection from our bodies and from our very important need to be closer to our nature. We stop doing what is truly natural for us—listening to our feelings, noticing the signals from our bodies, and analyzing what is happening around us with our own eyes Slowing down

Read More

Сompassion fatigue

“Well, what are you yelling about!” “Leave me alone!” – these phrases burst forth from the frozen, tired depths of a soul that can feel neither its own pain nor that of a child. Sometimes, due to overwhelming demands, we begin to feel less of the compassion we usually have for others. This is called Сompassion fatigue

Read More

Habits

In many ways, we are our habits. The way we are accustomed to perceiving situations and the people in them determines our emotions and reactions. We develop specific ways of reacting—worrying, staying calm, trying to control, getting angry, feeling hurt, joking. Our habitual reactions significantly influence how well we handle challenging situations. For example, when Habits

Read More

Synergy

This year, my daughter’s American public school had a mission statement: “In this class, we promise to be a team. We will work hard and create synergy. We will treat others well to be successful in second grade.” Notice, it’s not “I will get all A’s or cram the textbook until I’m exhausted,” but rather Synergy

Read More